Surviving Hard Times Together: How You and Your Spouse Can Make it Through
As with life itself, every marriage goes through tough times—some seasons full of joy and excitement, others overshadowed by hardship and strain. The latter seasons are hard. 100%. Tough to see the other side when you’re going through it. Even the most gritty, persistent of us can experience deep mental fatigue, physical exhaustion, and the sense of overwhelm. Add to that the burdens of being “present” as a spouse. It can exhaust us to the point of wanting to quit at times.
How you weather these storms comes down to what you do, TOGETHER, about it. The attitude and mindset you each bring into the equation. The commitment you make to one another to see through to the other side. Sure it’s tough and it will grind on you both, but surviving the difficulty together is essential.
Your storm right now could be financial stress, family tragedy, health battles, or emotional distance. And the weight of these trials can leave you and your partner feeling exhausted, defeated, and tempted to give up.
When you’re in a rough season, and your thoughts start to turn negative. You might find yourself asking, “Is this ever going to get better?” or “Are we strong enough to make it through?” The more you lean into those hopeless thoughts, the more you begin to see your spouse and your situation through a lens of defeat. That mindset can be dangerous—it invites doubt, disconnection, and discouragement into your marriage. And left unchecked, it can slowly corrode the love and unity you once felt.
In these moments, one of the most powerful tools you and your spouse have at your disposal is a SHARED positive mindset.
And this mindset is something you can impact. It’s up to you to determine what you bring to the table. One of the best things you and your spouse can do during hard times is to consciously adopt a mindset of unity and resilience. This means reminding each other that this is temporary. It means choosing to believe that the storm you're in—no matter how intense—will pass.
Instead of saying, “We’ll never get through this,” try saying, “This is hard, but it’s not forever. We’re in this together.” That shift in perspective is small, but it’s powerful. It acknowledges the reality of your pain while anchoring your hope in the future.
I can recall a time earlier in our marriage where we were in the thick of it. I (Chris) had just quit my job to start a business, giving up a large chunk of our income. We quickly were living paycheck to paycheck on Jamie’s salary. Suddenly we found ourselves unexpectedly pregnant. It was stressful to say the least. Add to that, our baby had a heart condition which resulted in an open-heart surgery at 6 months old. We spent many a night staying up late praying, talking, planning, wondering how in the heck things were going to work out. But, despite all that…I can honestly say, we let our faith lead us, and we rallied together with this unshakable persistence that this would all be temporary. That we would get through and be stronger for it. And we were. Our daughter is a healthy 10-year old. Our finances rebounded in time. And that particular storm calmed down.
I don’t share this at all to tout how well we did. Lord knows we’ve had hosts of difficulties since then and haven’t always handled the adversity as we should. BUT, the lesson in mindset is one we’ve tried our best to adopt. No matter the circumstances, we WILL persevere together.
Marriage isn’t about avoiding pain—it’s about weathering it together. When you and your spouse agree that you're on the same team, facing the same enemy, fighting for the same outcome, everything changes. You start making decisions that pull you together instead of push you apart. You lean into empathy instead of criticism. You see each other as partners instead of problems.
Hard seasons have the potential to strengthen your marriage, but only if you walk through them hand in hand, with a mindset that says, “We’re going to make it, and we’ll be stronger because of it.” Resilience in marriage isn’t about never falling—it’s about getting back up, again and again, together. There is a verse in Hebrews which I love, “Do not throw away your confidence, for it will be richly rewarded. You need to preserve so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what has been promised.” Wow.
Anchor on the Lord, on prayer and His Word.
Depend on your spouse and be dependable for them.
Commit to getting through your storm. Together.
So if you’re in a tough place right now, pause. Take a deep breath. Look at your spouse and remember: you’re not alone. This isn’t the end. It’s a chapter. And you get to write how it ends—together.